What I listen to- The Composers

During my day I listen to various types of music. Much of which is conditional to what mood I am in. The best music, however, is that which can sway my mood to a more relaxed place. I often listen to trance when I run, rock and rap when I lift weights, and mostly everything else when I'm either driving or working. Classical music is special because it derives it's own interpretation from our take on it, just as trance/electronic does. I've sometimes considered trance to be the classical music of our technological generation largely because their are no spoken lyrics. It leaves only what we desire to feel in the moment. The same song can create different moods at different times. Fascinating to say the least. Lastly, I virtually never listen to any pop music, or anything that might currently be played on the radio.

For me, I personally love movie soundtracks and musical scores. I think many people would be surprised at who/what I actually do listen to on a regular basis. Here's the short list of composers and singers that strike a chord with me (bad pun intended).

The Three Tenors-Luciano Pavarotti's timeless power, Placido Domingo's classic sound, and Jose Carreras' smoothness. Few, if any top Pavarotti, and the combined triplet is quite a delicacy.

Andrea Bocelli- incredibly rich voice and range. Can go from opera to contemporary naturally.

Alan Silvestri's score for Forest Gump. "Forest Gump suite" is incredible.

Randy Edelman's score for Dragon the Bruce Lee story. There's a reason so many tv and movie trailer's use the song "Premiere of the Big Boss" and the "Dragon Bruce Lee Story suite". The Gettysburg score is also high on the list of epic pieces along with Last of the Mohicans.

The Tree of Life soundtrack. This movie was artistic and quite visually stunning, though many people will have mixed feelings regarding the seemingly platitudnistic and pantheistic approach to art and meaning. Yet, few could dispute the use of incredible high def cinematography overlaid with music like Lacrimosa, Funeral Canticle, and Smetana's rousing La Moldau. Maybe I'm drinking the kool aid, but Terrence Malick has blended Kubrick with Aranofsky, even down to using the same macro liquid dynamics used for dramatic visual effects in The Fountain.

Jerry Goldsmith's score for Rudy. "Take us out" and "Tryouts" are incredibly fitting for the movie that inspired me to foolishly attempt football in high school :-)

Michael Giacchino- scores for the tv show Lost and the Star Trek movie. "Enterprising young men", "Life and Death", and "No place like home" are gold. Giacchino and JJ Abrams go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Bill Conti- The Karate Kid and Rocky scores. Two of my favorite childhood movies and soundtracks that take me back to the '80's.

Danny Elfman- another dynamic duo usually paired with sci-fi director Tim Burton. Edward Scissorhands and the Orginial Batman soundtracks are probably his highlights. "Ice Dance" and "Grand Finale" are my two favorites.

Clint Mansell's score for The Fountain. It was a beautiful and haunting score for a deep and thought provoking movie by Darren Aronofsky. "Death is the road to awe" might be his most impactful piece.

Ennio Morricone's score for The Mission. "Gabriel's Oboe" being the highlight. I'll end with the lyrics to the song "Nella Fantasia" which is an updated version of Morricone's song with added lyrics. Lyrics shown are the Italian and English translation.

Originial Italian (Nella Fantasia- In My Fantasy)

Nella fantasia io vedo un mondo giusto,
Lì tutti vivono in pace e in onestà.
Io sogno d'anime che sono sempre libere,
Come le nuvole che volano,
Pien' d'umanità in fondo all'anima.

Nella fantasia io vedo un mondo chiaro,
Lì anche la notte è meno oscura.
Io sogno d'anime che sono sempre libere,
Come le nuvole che volano.

Nella fantasia esiste un vento caldo,
Che soffia sulle città, come amico.
Io sogno d'anime che sono sempre libere,
Come le nuvole che volano,
Pien' d'umanità in fondo all'anima.

English version:

In my imagination I see a fair world,
Everyone lives in peace and in honesty there.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like the clouds that fly,
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.

In my imagination I see a bright world,
Even the night is less dark there.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like clouds that fly.

In my imagination there exists a warm wind,
That breathes on the cities, like a friend.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like clouds that fly,
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.

Just another Tuesday morning.

My parents remember the day President Kennedy was assasinated like it was yesterday. My grandfather, until his dying day, could recall intricate details of World War II. I remember watching the news about the Challenger explosion in my parent's living room as a small child. I remember what it was like attending my first Yankees game. Of all those events in recent history, I don't think any could compare to what happened almost tens years ago to the day. It started off like any other day, but it was a day that would change the world as we knew it. It changed the world as I knew it.

It was a cool, but, bright sunny morning in Harrisonburg, Virginia. It was 9:30am and I was beginning my second week of classes at James Madison University. It was early enough in the semester where my class work load wasn't heavy yet, and I could still enjoy the freedom of what seemed like a short extension of summer vacation. A hint of fall was creeping in the air, a lively time it was, and I soaked it in during my short walk to government class. If I had been paying any attention, I may have noticed the growing concern and confused haze taking place around me. But, on this morning, like so many others, I was oblivious.

As soon as I stepped into Dr. Hammond's 9:45am class on modern political theory, I heard the shocking news for the first time. A plane had struck one of the World Trade Center buildings. The details were shakey at best, and on a college campus news from the "outside" doesn't come in very fast. Was it an accident? What kind of plane was it? There was no facebook and no real time news access from an iphone. We only had word of mouth and Instant Messenger. The cell phones started buzzing. Wait, there were two planes? One flew into the other building, and now both towers were badly damaged. It became excedingly clear this was not an accident. The Pentagon was hit too! This was a premeditated and widespread terrorist attack on America. The students began to panic. There were family members and friends who worked in the Pentagon and the Twin Towers. Certainly there were massive casualties from the morning's events, but who, and how many? Were my friends safe? Our professor let us go and, in fact, many classes were canceled for the remainder of the day. The professors had family, we had family, and we needed to know if we were the lucky ones.

I called my parents on my way back to my dorm, and they were okay. Thank God, they were okay. But, we also had family New York. Were they accounted for? Were the attacks over, or was this the beginning of something far more grim than we could ever imagine? Was my generation going to be the one that ushered in a new world of terror and war? As I headed back to my room I found a tree on the grassy quad, dropped my back pack, and sat down. Is this the end of the world as we know it? The end of freedom? Nothing made sense, and I was shocked and greatly troubled. The "reality" of my little world was trampled with reckless abandon. The weight of it all came crashing down, as if the towers themselves were the physical embodiment of my charmed naive existence. I prayed to God. It was the only thing I could do. The sparkling green quad was now filled with college aged souls just like mine slouched in a fog of confusion and sorrow. Those who chose to simply sit still, with their minds flooded with anxieties, were in stark contrast to those visibly running and frantically communicating. I could only hear my thoughts. The sounds of my breathing and heart beat were like the soundtrack to a silent film playing out before me. Time was standing still.

After the mind numbing stillness of my conscious ramblings, I headed back to my dorm to consult with friends. I wanted to support them in their time of desparation and fear. When I walked into my room, my roomate John was praying fervently on his bed. I wanted to join him, but I simply could not sit, or stand still a moment longer. I HAD to know what was happening in our world. Surely enough small groups of students began clustering around computers and tv screens to get the latest news. America was, in fact, under heavy terrorist attack. Another plane had crashed in PA, but was that coincidence, or part of the same dark master plan? Then I saw my first glimpse of the Twin Towers. Various news stations showed the images of two planes soaring through the New York skyline and then simply being engulfed into the side of the World Trade Center. Then the planes, immediately after impact, erupted into a flashing ball of fire, smoke, and debris. The Twin Towers burned, but still stood defiantly. Who knew that the images captured on these screens would be the same ones that would haunt the world from that day forth?

For certain I knew many Americans had to have been lost on this day. I kept a watchful eye on the news, and the scrolling news feed at the bottom of the screen. Then my heart stopped. A large deafening billow of smoke and dust revealed that the south tower had collapsed. It was completely gone. Then I saw videos of the north tower. It was gone too. Movies like Deep Impact and Independance Day had eerily similar visuals as to what we were seeing. Dust clouds consumed city block after city block. New York City was in chaos. Knowing that both mighty towers had fallen, may very well have been the most heart breaking thing I have ever seen. It was an iconic sight that was horrible to witness, yet I could not stop watching the replays on tv. Thousands of people were lost. In the wake of the morning's events, there were countless stories of heroes among us. The common man and woman becoming uncommon. FDNY, NYPD, EMT. In the rubble and remains of a once towering facade, a single American flag was raised.

The morning of September 11, 2001 may have started off just like any other. But, on that same evening myself, and thousands of fellow JMU students gathered in candle light vigil I will never forget. It was a somber time of remembering, weeping, and strengthened resolve. In vunerable brokeness we became all together one.

Weeks and months after September 11, America was the most united I have ever seen it. There was solidarity with our foreign allies, and solidarity within our own government. More importantly, Americans learned how to love one another again. The United States were actually united. I write this now on eve of Sept 11, 2011. I know that in the first few years after 9/11 people paid their tributes, but as time passed by people forgot. I am writing this today, so I never forget. It is a reminder as to why I am proud to call myself an American.

Afterall, you never know when just another Tuesday morning will change the world.

Season of Goodbye

I know not why, nor the reason. But, this is the season, of farewells, goodbyes, handshakes, and sad eyes. For some the candle blew out, for others an escape from the drought. It's what we give away, and what we take with. Swift fleeting moments, sweet fleeting gifts. The trade off is simple, but at a cost we can't choose. A life well shared, equates to how much we lose. Brave new worlds and brave new friends. Johnny Cash was wrong, not everyone goes away in the end.

Today

Today, this day, will always be the culmination of all the prior days of our lives. In other words, everything that has ever happened has literally prepared us for this very moment. Until the unpromised sunrise of tomorrow arrives, today is technically always the last day of your life. Live it as such.

My Bucket List

I decided to compile a new list of things I'd like to do in my lifetime. I haven't really considered a "bucket list" in a while. I have also listed some things that were previously on the list, but now completed.

Climb Mt. Everest: this will be doable as soon as I have $60,000 to do it.
...or Visit Napal and at least see Everest from a distance
Go to Hawaii: complete
See the northern lights
Complete and Ironman
Run a marathon: complete
Have a role in a major Hollywood film
Learn to do the windmill( a breakdance move)
See the Great Wall of China
Paddle the Yangtze River
Dunk a basketball
Run with the bulls
Run the Grand Canyon rim to rim to rim
Sit in the Devils Pool at Victoria Falls
Go to: Alaska, Korea, New Zealand, Ireland,
Run 100 miles in a single day: complete
Skydive
See the Great Pyramids
See Niagara Falls: complete
Storm Chase/see an F5 tornado
Feel an earthquake: complete (believe it or not in Richmond, VA 12/04)
Own a black Harley Davidson Nightster
Highpoint every state with summits over a mile high: 5 so far (CO, HI, TN, NC, VA)

Part 1: The Fall

In the beginning a garden, a betrayal naive
In the beginning, one choice, so easily deceived.
A love story so perfect, but we chose to hide
No longer our eternity, haunting whispering lies.

We fall through history and time, we make our mark
We keep falling forever, deeper into the dark.
A great flood, the great plagues, world wars one and two
A civil war took thousands, a global war 6 million Jews.
Made equal by God, but enslaved, bound by our hands
If your skin is dark, you're only three fifths on a man

Persecution, control, man's lust for power.
A doomsday clock, in the eleventh hour.
Oppenheimer, and armies, a mighty weapon of fear.
Hiroshima, Nagasaki in ashes, creation disappears.
The atomic age yields to another, a hydrogen beast
Tsar Bomba quakes the heavens, a 50 kiloton feast.
Falling forever again, what is it worth?
When choas rules, how can the meek inherit this earth?

Cambodia, Vietnam, Kmer Rouge, the scene at Tiananmen Square
Another trail of tears, napalm scorches the air.
Generations of man, one after the other
Keep falling forever, waiting to discover
Why can't our hearts change, why can't we believe
Oklahoma City in terror, quiet Waco under seige.
So many chances to turn it back, to simply be found
April 20,1999. 14 taken in a small Colorado town.

Madrid's 191, 56 in a London rush hour blast,
American 11, 77, United 93 happened so fast
We are the villain's of the story, where are the heroes?
2,752 more when the mighty twins fell, this is ground zero.
These are the headlines, the news flashes of our time
Darfur, Virginia Tech, Rwanda genocide

The world says it's ok, we're doing fine
Then why do we fall, time after time?
They say we don't need a savior, there's nothing to save
Then why are billions on bended knee every single day?
We fall forever and ever with this empty cup,
We must fall....so we can be lifted up.

...part II coming

Short Stuff

(these were actually messages sent via Facebook to friends of mine, and never intended to be posted on here)

Life has given, life has taken. On the cross, even the Son felt forsaken. The cuts are deep, the bruises are real. Is truth more than what we feel? Isolation, the beast, your courage on his teeth. Young, torn, scorned, this is your crown of thorns. How can near feel so far, how does love feel like scars? Is He cruel and distant, a promise unkept? But, John 11:35 said by your side Jesus wept. Alone in the winter, by snow covered trees, a single rose struggles, yearning to be free.(3/21)

Something dark, something fierce, something wicked draws me nearest. Back and forth, shadow to light, into morning, into night. Piercing eyes, story untold, raise your flag into the cold. Bold, weak, broken, and shattered. Flag torn, heart tattered. Raise up, raise up, you sleep no more. Lift those looks from the floor. Take a step, walk the line, grasp it now, the light is mine.(3/15)

Sit back relax, plan your attack. Like a coward you hide, taking my pride, don't you know what's inside? Cracked mirror has me wondering who I am, what's His plan, does He understand? Blinded and deaf, I can neither hear nor see. Sharpen your blades cuz your taking me from me. Pull back the hammer, reload, reload. You'd better kill me deadeye I'm about to explode. Caught in your crosshairs I dodge, shift, and slide. Word without truth is a dark little ride. Anger and hatred, the fangs come out. The wolf has shed the sheepskin, more doubt, more doubt. I'm a weak feeble target, you think I'm an easy kill. I've got my eye on you, the world stands still. The deluge of assaults, your clip is empty. One last try, you're trying to tempt me. You did your homework, you studied my mind, but there's a piece of me you didn't find. Behold a longsword, drawn from my will, now you're the prey, come get your fill. Stagger back to the darkness from wherest thou came, pouring is truth, washed in the rain. Fake lying shadow, I'm serving you wine and bread. Your treachery is done, no more, your dead. (3/23)

The Man Behind the Curtain

The Wizard of Oz is such a classic film. It was originially written as a children's novel by L. Frank Baum, and published in 1900. There is the cowardly lion, tin man without a heart, and scarecrow without a brain. Then there's also an evil witch, a good witch, and Dorothy whose only desire is to return home safely. I find it interesting that each character's individual search for completion is based on filling several crucial human needs. The characters require wisdom, heart, courage, and sense of home. However, in every instance it is quite obvious what each lacks as you see the tin man feeling empty, the scarecrow acting dumb, and the lion being fearful. Actually, it's only the lion that tries to portray toughness by chasing Toto, until little Dorothy sets him straight.

Of all the people in the movie, the one I most identify with is not part of the band of misfits. I am most akin to the mighty wizard of Oz. He presents himself as this looming figure, all powerful, and with a booming voice that might scare the heartiest of souls. He then declares "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!'. It is then revealed that the seemingly omnipotent wizard is nothing more than an ordinary man hiding behind a small curtain. Not only is he just a man, but he is a scared and timid man praying on the visible weakness of others.

Speaking in generalities, I think it's all too cliche to say we cover our brokeness with false facades. Taking the analogy one step further, I believe we(I) attempt to display the very opposite of the things we are fearful for others to see. I, for one, subconsciously put off this stoic vibe of quiet strength and confidence. Other times I find myself quite consciously acting in a manner that may be over masculine,arrogant,tough, or bad ass in order to blanket my insecurities. Often the weakest and most insecure men are the ones packing into gyms, hitting on women, and showing off just how "manly" they can be. Those of us who are afraid of looking unintelligent read many books, surround ourselves with intellectuals, and only engage in the most thought provoking conversations. We use exterior prowess and confidence to hide our true frailness. I am not immune to the seductiveness of putting off false airs and how it will allow me to be perceived in the way I desire by others. Is perception truly reality?

Those who have built up incredible self doubt over their body image may be the folks who end up buying the fanciest clothes, nicest cars, and houses. Often broken households are cloaked with the luxuries of marble and golden gates. Our pretenses are really like the Emperor's New Clothes. We only feel that what we have on is what we are, but the transparency of our costume is nothing more than a placebo effect for our ego. I think this is a large reason why society seems to mock people who are truly comfortable in their own skin, and why we attack those who find fulfilment in who they really are. It's like we say unless we can make you just as insecure and doubtful, how dare you flaunt your lack of fear infront of the crowds. When you have finally been shamed enough to cover your true self, then we will call off the dogs, but we'll always be around to remind you when you unconform.

There is nothing wrong with the man behind the curtain. It's the giant, green, glowing head of the wizard that commands you to not pay attention to him that is wrong. That wizard is your ego and pride telling you to keep yourself hidden, because then people will see you for what you really are. Now that's a horse of a different color!

Toe to Toe with Jesus

What would you do if you met Jesus? He's kind of a big deal, you know the Son of God, walks on water, forgives sin, and is capable of giving eternal life. Yeah, that Jesus. I've heard many Christians say they would worship Him, bow down at His feet, and love Him. Others, maybe atheists or agnostics, would rather have an intellectual conversation with Jesus, trying to better know His ethics and teachings, as opposed to divinity. Shortly after I was adopted my parents named me Michael. I was named after none other than Michael the Archangel, the leader of the armies of God, and one of the most bad ass figures of the Bible. Yet, even with all his power and might, the angel Michael still had to answer to a higher power. God.

Well, I've never been much of a subordinate, and always find a way to defy authority. I've largely thought most of my former bosses had the IQ of brussle sprouts, if not a tad bit lower. I didn't get along with many of my teachers in school, and rarely like being told I'm wrong. There are times where I find myself arrogantly mocking authority and leadership. What is my deal? There in lies my major dilema as a Christian. A major part of being a Christian is faithfully giving into the will of God, but what do you do when you don't want to trust His authority. What if you felt like every time you trusted God He let you down, or had some "tough love" lesson to straighten you out with? You really wouldn't want to give into that will again, and maybe would push back harder against an immovable object. What do you do when you desire defiance over submission? What if I desire to wrestle the angel in order to feel closer to God?

Several days ago, I met up with a group of men from my church. One of my friends said if God came into the room, he would bow down and worship Him. My gut response was that I would stand up and go toe to toe with Jesus, not necessarily to throw down with Him, but to position myself infront of the greatest authority in the universe.I would look Him right in eyes and size up the Savior of man kind. It would be the greatest staring contest in the world, knowing that He wouldn't just be looking into my eyes, but examining the very essence of my soul. That fact, however, would not waver my intent to explore into His own character and being. I'd just be too curious to see if I could find the core of God's own existence in His eyes. Wow, that would blow my mind. At the same time I would have so many questions. Who were my birth parents? Why did you let cancer take three of my grandparents? Onto the larger picture, where were you during the holocaust, Rwanda genocide, and September 11th? Clearly not a conversation to have over a cup of Starbucks coffee, but maybe better suited for the summit of a snow covered mountain.

I think this illustration is what I conjure up when I consider my human will against the will of God. What could I, a five foot nothing, 155 lb human, do in light of the creator of the universe? I might be able to look Jesus eye to eye, but in reality He would have the authority of the world as His fingertips, and I am nothing more than a part of that creation. Creation vs creator? Will vs will? Man vs God? Sinner vs Savior? Faith vs doubt? Submission vs defiance.

I think this picture is less like pharaoh challenging God's power through Moses, and more like Pilate seeking confirmation from Jesus. The numerous one on one encounters in the Bible very much resemble what I think a current day encounter would look like. Peter denies Jesus face to face, Martha and Mary show sorrow when Lazarus dies, but Mary also washes His feet with her tears. Even Judas kissed the very person he was about to betray, thus masking malice with a recognizable act of intimacy.

The culture may be 2,000 years removed from Biblical times, but the human traits that existed then are very much a part of our day now. I think if Jesus lived now he'd be blowing up Facebook status updates, twitter feeds, and Fox news. There'd be haters and followers, but they'd be adhearing to the modern ways of social networking and media frenzy. There's be accusations of photoshop, video tampering, and taking conversations out of context. Those who would choose to doubt would still doubt, and those who would believe would still believe. There are those would bow at His feet, and those who, like me, would want more than blind faith.

I wonder why pure faith and trust is never good enough for me. I have, and have always wanted more. In the movie The Matrix, the character Seraph, says "You never really know a person until you fight them". Sometimes I feel the best way to know God is to fight Him, because you can't fight without being close to the one you're fighting. The irony is that I always know it's a fight I will never win. Why can't faith the size of a mustard seed be enough, when it is more than enough?

Brothers of Light and Dark

Most people are familiar with the Yin Yang, or at least most people have seen one. The Yin Yang is an ancient Chinese symbol that reflects the interconnected nature of seemingly opposite forces. It is sometimes viewed that light cannot exist without dark, and dark cannot exist without light. It is essentially the coexistence, or balance in the relationship of things we often view as being on the far side of the spectrum as the other. However, just because things are opposites, does not mean they are on the opposite side. Quite often they are the closest linked things, like brothers/ or twins, instead of enemies as we often perceive them.

I loved the tv show Lost. For those unfamiliar, there are two characters, one named Jacob(who always wears white)and another simply called the Man in Black (who obviously always wore black). The two clearly represented good and evil, but instead of being mortal enemies, which they sometimes were, they were also closely bound brothers. Their relationship was intertwined at a very high level, yet they opposed everything about what the other stood for. It reminds me of the Biblical dialogue between God and Satan when Job was being tested. Despite the incredible difference between God and Satan, there was still a unique close relationship that existed by two entities that we never picture being together(which should not be confused as being the same, or in joint operation).

This brings me to the balance between light and dark that exists in every human. We choose to think love and hate are polar opposites, yet their relationship is closer than any other emotion we experience. The ability to hate creates in us the same amount of forces as that of love, but the outcome and consequences of those forces is usually destructive. But, if you really think of it, isn't love capable of being just as dangerous and damaging? Sometimes it's not. Anger and hatred can make us incredibly strong physically and emotionally, but so can love. Similarly, trust and betrayal beget one another. In order to be betrayed one must allow a certain degree of trust, and in order to trust, one must allow room for betrayal. Broken trust rarely leads to any other emotion than betrayal, and therefor they are brothers united by a thin, and almost inconceivable line. It's why the people we trust the most, are the only ones capable of betraying us the most. Just like the people we love the most, are the only ones who hurt us the deepest.

Cynics and idealists are usually the same people, but at different points in life. A person is not born cynical. They are mostly people who have created specific ideals and expectations, and at some point life/people let them down(or that is how they see it). It's the same reason hopeless romantics end up being the most jaded people when it comes to their view on relationships. Nobody starts out that way. The opposing forces and human traits are only one step removed from the other, and not on some far distant side.

This topic reminds me how so much good can come out of negative circumstances. When an earthquake devestates an entire country it is a tragedy, yet it summons in us a desire to aid humanity in a way that would have never been engaged otherwise. It's sad that for many of us it takes something like Sept 11th, the Virgiina Tech killings, the Haiti earthquake, Indonesia tsunami, Columbine, Hurricane Katrina, etc. to be inspired to do good. Evil begets love and kindness, just as tragedy begets hope and inspiration. Brothers of light and dark, bound, yet working to bring existence to the other.

Consider these seemingly opposite emotions, and then think about how closely knit their relationship truly is to the other. Consider how a simple shift in one, or the attack of one, will immediately lead to the other. Perhaps ponder whether the restoration, or redemption of one can brings things back to the previous mode of existence.

Love and Hate
Tragedy and Hope
Good and Evil
Life and Death
Restoration and The Fall
Triumph and Failure
Order and Chaos
Sorrow and Anger
Existence and Nothingness
Strength and Brokeness
Trust and Betrayal
Greed and Charity
Redemption and Condemnation
Faith and Disbelief
Peace and War
Vindictiveness and Forgiveness
Building and Destruction

Etched on Our Skin: Scars

Some people say scars are life's story etched on our skin. They are like ink free tattoos designed by the will of life's events. Each scar has it's own unique story and series of events that lead up to the very moment it marred our body. For every visible scar on our being, I would venture to guess there are thousands of scars on our souls that nobody can see. Those, in and of themselves, tell a whole different story.

My scar story:

Right leg: Largest scar on my body. Passenger in car accident at 35-40 mph. May 2009

Upper right shoulder: 3 inch scar from falling during a trail race. April 2006

Lower left stomach: hernia incision scar. 1986

Chin and lower jaw: Bitten by a dog at age 5, 1986. 20 stiches.

Left upper leg: several 4-6 in scars from trail race. January 2011.

Left hand: scraped the bottom of a pool while diving. Summer 1990.

Both elbows: scars from sliding headfirst during baseball games. 1989-1999

Lower lip: bit through entire lip whe hit by a seesaw. 1985

Left foot: Cut rescuing a drowning child. Lifeguarding,summer 2004

Both legs: dozens of small scars from trail races and runs. Circa 2004-2011.

Neck: had birth mark removed. 1995

Left lower arm: cut moving furniture for friends. Summer 2005.

Forehead: ran into a tree 2010, ran into a wall at the Science Museum of VA 1987

And those are just the scars visible to the human eye.

The Defiant: By Michael L. Bailey

Along wind blown shores and crisp horizons, a fortress stands
Cliffs of reckless abandon fall to the waters, there's no beach, no sand.
Years of trials, brick and mortor, the fortress is born
She stands, defiant, strong, welcoming the storms.
The winds of nevers and maybes shake the thick walls
The waves of betrayal, trust, quake the inner halls.

The walls are thicker and higher, they continue to grow
Before the sun rays could permiate, and now not even a glow.
Keep your promises at the door, and your knees to the ground
These chains are locked, is there a key to be found?
The vibrant colors of truth have faded to black and white,
Now even the day is as dark as the night.

However, a fortress she has not always been
But once a castle on a hill, where the sunrise shown in.
The gate was lowered, where hope found peace in her depths
But inside the foundation the walls secretly wept.
Like a trojan horse, the throne collapsed from the inside out
The lights, the candles, a cold breeze blew them out.
Her past beauty was a city on a hill
But now in the hollows, there's only silence, a chill.

You can't penetrate the fortress, you can't make it move
No words, no actions, can weaken, or sooth.
The foundation is set, what is, is what will forever be
The doubts are the far off distance, like water of the sea.
The mighty fortress has endured the squalls and sting of the rain
This mighty fortress has long since forgotten the feel of pain.

But wait! What ship is this with white sails that draws near?
The sun beaming off the breakers, the mist off rocks she clears.
The fortress has withstood what the tempest hath raged,
Face to face with brilliance the fortress is engaged.
Though the facade be thick and watchmen guarded
The white ship has weakened the ego, the takeover has started.

Shame,guilt, and pitty were the ties that bound
But a new stronger bond of absolute truth has been found.
Black to white, grey to gold
The fortress is gone, replaced by a sight to behold.
A broken soul, a broken heart, and will
All can find restoration, and return to that city on a hill.

The fortress stood strong protecting a heart of stone,
Years it wasted, pride it's prince, reigned alone.
But the castle of beauty, in faith, is finally free,
At peace, at rest, by the enchanting call of the sea.
Instead of conquering dreams, and solitude in the dawn
There's renewal and enlightenment where the waters are calm.

Last Year in a Nutshell. Thoughts on 2010

How does one skim through 365 days and take something away from it? Here's what I took away from the year 2010.

Lessons learned:
- I don't drink enough water, and consume too much caffein
- Trust is hard to obtain, and even harder to maintain.
- Facebook is like The Force- it can be used for good, but there's also a dark side to it.
- We rarely get to decide who we fall in love with, but it usually happens when we least expect it, or want it
- When we are at our worst, our friends are at their best.
- Never EVER drink Four Loko, especially on an empty stomach with other drinks
- Don't try to compete in a 100 mile race in Colorado when you live at sea level.

My Favorite Days of 2010:
- October 29th
- June 6th, midnight, summiting Woodstock Mountain and seeing the city lights below at mile 93 of the Old Dominion 100 Miler.
- August 21st: summitting the highest mountain in Colorado. Mt. Elbert (14,440 ft)
- November 20th
- November 7, pacing my friend James to his first marathon finish
- June 6th, me and my sister surprising our parents with a sweet 40th anniversary weekend

People I became closer to:
- Leesey Smuland Clark, Erica Dove, Dan Hanlon, Maria Pennington, Ryan Payne, John Park, my Tuesday Night Fight Club guys. Of course there are many friends I was already close with that are not on this list, You guys were already awesome friends.

New and Old
- Traded in my 2006 Toyota Corolla for a 2002 Jaguar X-Type
- Moved from Bridgewater, VA to Weyers Cave VA

Least Favorite Part of the Year
- All those freakin' 100 degree and humid days last summer, and all that stupid snow at the beginning of the year